It was hard to choose the top three. I wrestled with myself, I settled on the three questions that seem to be a theme in my readings, these questions keep showing up.
Naturally, every situation is different, which is why when I’m doing a reading on a couple, I like to consider past lives, soul contracts and to tap into the energy of the union, but these answers are a common thread and a starting point.
Want to get insights into your own union? Click here to visit my love readings section, and now onto the questions!
We broke up but I still feel a connection, why can’t I let him/her go?
There’s nothing like that nagging feeling about an ex, for some, it may just be about closure, something we all need, but for others, it may be a little more. The short answer is, there’s likely a reason and it has to do with soul contracts.
When we connect with someone (romantic or otherwise) there is typically a soul agreement in place, aka, soul contract. This means that you as souls have laid out certain goals to accomplish together, sometimes these goals won’t take too long, maybe months or several years. Other times they may take a lifetime or multiple lifetimes. Your contract can still be ongoing, despite the fact that you have broken up with this person, and that creates a strong sense of unfinished business.
For example, in the case of temporary contracts, think back to a friend that you were once close to but for whatever reason, you two have moved on. There are likely no hard feelings about this, you grew apart ultimately, life circumstances caused the separation. This is the way a completed soul contract feels, they were once very important because there was some sort of healing, lesson, a connection that had to be made. Once it was complete, you were both free to move on. Notice the difference in that feeling versus the feeling of someone who isn’t around anymore but you feel strongly connected to, the emotions are showing you that there is still work to do, the contract isn’t complete.
When you feel a sense of peace, you know the contract is complete. Now, the guidance will often follow that there will be windows of opportunities for reunion, even if it is only for closure; to say the things you need to say, but sometimes it is for much more. If these windows of opportunities are not realized, it will all carry over into the next lifetime.
Conversely, if you want a contract to end with someone (sometimes people go way off their path and we know it’s not healthy to be with them) you can ask your higher self and the other person's higher self, to suspend the contract or even void it for this lifetime. That way, when you are reunited on the other side, you can review what happened and determine if you want to return together again. You don’t have to feel powerless about a contract, you can ask your guides to help you with them, but do keep in mind that they are set by your soul, so asking to void one is never something you should do without serious consideration.
If you need help with Soul Contracts I have a Soul Contract Reading designed to help you learn what contract you have with someone and whether or not they are still active.
I’m interested in this person, they have expressed interest too but they are married, (and sometimes so is the querent) will he/she leave their spouse for me?
Love triangles, or love squares, are fairly common, the short answer is, this can take a while…
The reason these scenarios happen goes back to soul contracts. People will often stay in a marriage because of a contract. They may think it is due to their kids, the house, vows, etc., but there is an overriding soul contract in place. You can imagine how much more complex it gets when both parties have a marriage/relationship, add another soul contract into the mix. Don’t forget there is also a contract with the two that are in love, it’s like you need a spiritual lawyer to help with all of the legal complexities! The reason why this becomes a long process is that time is needed to complete those soul contracts.
Contracts largely have to do with lessons, and free will determines how long it takes to learn a lesson. However, a lot of the time the contract feels complete in these situations, there may be some additional work to do such as forgiveness, but can be done post contract. If you feel a contract has run its course, then you must follow what feels right in your heart. Not so that you can run to another person, but because this is truly the right move for you. Guidance is always strong about this, don’t let your passions rule you, but at the same time, don’t ignore them either, there is a fine line there.
Many people find themselves in a waiting game for their loved one to be free. If you have made yourself free or were free from the start, and the prospective partner has not done the same in a reasonable amount of time, chances are their contract is either still active or they are locked into patterns that they are not able to break at this time. Take care to not waste too much of your time in a waiting pattern. Your contract may be present but free will means your intended can choose which contract to honor.
To get insight into a love relationship, check out the Relationship Path Report Reading
Why isn’t he/she staying in communication with me? I can’t tell if he/she really wants to be with me or not.
This one can be coupled with some of the other questions, but it also stands on its own and is one of my most frequently seen scenarios. This relates to runners, sleepers, ghosters, poor communicators and the like. The short answer is, avoidant behavior means they are not ready, the timing is off.
It can be a very difficult line to walk, waiting on someone, you aren’t sure if their avoidant behavior is because of you or if they are truly involved in something that is taking them away from the time you would have as a “normal” couple. The distance can be geographical or it can emotional, it can be both as well.
The bottom line is that for some reason your beloved is not on the same page as you. This can be extremely painful, here you are ready to give, love, build a life together and they are dragging their feet. You have found an unavailable partner. These types are evasive, keep you at arm’s length and never really tell you the whole story. They are usually afraid; fear is at the root of their behavior. These fears often stem from childhood wounds and their subsequent patterns. They can sometimes say all the right things in one conversation making you feel loved, supported, and that they are the one, and then the next day, nothing.
Actions speak louder than words, after a time you have to realize that these types are really running from themselves. It isn’t anything you are doing, it is their own pain and unhealed past that causes them to behave in this manner. Twin flames (and their stand-ins) often fall into this category because the twin flame mirror causes them to see what they need to heal and they just aren’t ready. It can also be a soulmate or someone that is coming into your life on a temporary basis (temporary soul contract) to help you heal. One thing you have the opportunity to do in this type of union is to spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself, learn to love yourself and pretty soon you will see that you are worth more.
The Check-In Relationship Reading is helpful for this type of scenario, in it, I tap into what he/she is thinking and also connect with your guides to see what they recommend you do next.
This brings me to my final point, and perhaps the most important point, self-love. It’s a topic a lot of us don’t really understand even though we hear about it constantly, do you really practice it? If you do chances are none of these issues are in your life, if we truly practice self-love, we rise above the need for many of these lessons altogether. To love yourself, is one of the most common pieces of guidance that I get, in all areas of life. Self-love has to do with self-acceptance, kindness, and compassion for yourself. Being present and connecting with your higher self, aligning with your purpose and dreams. You have to get clear on these things before you can bring in a healthy, loving relationship. You don’t have to have perfected them, but you do have to focus on them and make them a priority. Otherwise, you will constantly compromise and live just below your potential. Self-love is essential no matter what.
To help develop self-love try the Self Love and Acceptance Meditation or go to the Meditation Section to view all meditations, topics cover twin flame love, clearing, connecting to your inner child and more!